2011 was quite a hectic year for me. The desperately busy work that started in 2010 extended well into this year and has only intensified since. 'Overwhelmed' seems to be the overarching feeling of 2011. Much has happened, from the March earthquake and tsunami in Tohoku, to a dysfunctional Congress, the world indeed has become much less stable in recent memory. It hasn't all been bad though. On a more personal level, you've made new friends, rekindled old friendships. The Taiko community has opened up to a whole new level, and I have become a part of this growing movement. I started grad school in a good program and a good group. Whatever twists and turns may come in the near future have yet to be determined, but it is a start for now. Overall it has been a very reasonable year.
2012 seems to bear more challenges however. The dysfunction of your government will likely be exacerbated by the presidential election. Congress will make your life harder, not better. You will again lose friends to life transitions. Southern California will become lonelier because of it. Work will be more intense and more volatile towards the end of next year. I hope 2012 will be easier for you than 2011 was for me, however I don't believe that will be the case.
May you have the strength to bear action and responsibilities for the duties you shall assume in 2012.
May you have the creativity and skills to solve the problems placed before you.
May you have the courage to establish new and meaningful relationships with those around you. We have not done particularly well here in recent years, although it is not entirely your fault and neither have you entirely failed in this regard. The world outside of college is a difficult environment to make new friends unless you take specific action. May you embark on these important journeys and comport yourself with the values you hold dear. As we both know, solitude has its comforts, however it risks an unbearable loneliness that slowly eats at you from the inside out.
May you find the strength to battle your demons and the cunning to evade them.
May you find the resilience and motivation to see your duties through to the end. There are many challenges to come. Confront them honorably and honestly.
On a more corporeal level, may you better take advantage of the natural resources around you. You live in an area that many few have access to. Do not take it for granted.
May the weather be varied and without extreme. 2011 was a good year for weather, although I would still prefer more rain.
Lastly, may 2012 find more stability than 2011. Certainly, we live in a relatively stable age and place. This peace looks to be slowly unraveling however. Although these are merely the wishes of one insignificant man, I hope that at the very least, the increased volatility of our world will lead to better things.
And if it so happens that the world ends in 2012, may you be at peace with the end of this age... and when the next one begins and we're all still here... may the next age be a glorious one.
Peace be with you Brother.
C.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Awkward Stage of Intermediate
Its been a long time since I last wrote. It hasn't been for lack of trying, rather life has gotten the upper hand this past winter, and I am only now regaining control. Unfortunately, I think I left a piece of me behind. I feel meaner, more critical, and to a large extent, a lot less happy, and a lot lonelier. In between all the fires, I've been left wondering, how did I get here? Why am I in this state? Is there anything to be gained by being like this...?
Perhaps its best to start with the cycle of mastery. Any art can more or less be broken down into the three levels: Novice, Intermediate, and Master. This model is not necessarily restricted to any particular art as it is largely the way human beings absorb and use knowledge. It can be grossly generalized in the following.
The beginner or novice is a state many of my readership should be familiar with. It truly is a wonderful state in that everything is new and exciting. It is where the learning curve is typically the shallowest, and a modest amount of effort can reap tremendous gains. Although it is the most awkward state, it is also the state in which transgressions are most easily forgiven. The most interesting things tend to happen here, because there is no form; there are no habits; it is pure innocence colliding with the world and thus generating something new.
The intermediate level is where the novice has gained enough knowledge and skill to break things. It is the level at which the practitioner applies his tools to everything and finds his knowledge and skills staring back at him in everything. Ego is at its most dangerous in this state. In a school, the know-nothing novice would blindly follow the master's instruction and safely traverse the ebb and flow of a given art, it is the intermediate practitioner who is more likely to challenge the open sea or disregard or misinterpret given instruction. Perhaps it is here where the learning curve tends to be the steepest, and most practitioners drown. It is, however, a necessary step, because this level is where the practitioner's skill is judged by the real world (as opposed to the classroom). Those new ideas generated by the novice, while wonderful and cute, may not mean much outside the classroom.
Mastery comes many different ways, but often, the end result is a return to a state much like the novice. Where the intermediate practitioner typically has a large toolset at his disposal and sought a different nail for every hammer in his possession, the master and novice is more likely to reach for a single tool for a multitude of tasks. While the novice clings to a single tool based on familiarity, the master usually chooses the tool most suitable for her particular characteristics after finding the large intermediate toolset too cumbersome to wield. Its not that those tools are gone, rather, they are relegated to the rare occasion that her tool of mastery is not sufficient for the task. Of course, mastery is not a terminal path, rather it merely seeking to continually minimize the intermediate toolset and seek new and interesting ways to apply one's mastery.
I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight. Hopefully I can hold on to this thread and continue on coherently. Its crazy obvious what state I'm in, as the past is always rosy and beautiful, the present is a mixed bag of good and bad... and well the future is the future...
Perhaps its best to start with the cycle of mastery. Any art can more or less be broken down into the three levels: Novice, Intermediate, and Master. This model is not necessarily restricted to any particular art as it is largely the way human beings absorb and use knowledge. It can be grossly generalized in the following.
The beginner or novice is a state many of my readership should be familiar with. It truly is a wonderful state in that everything is new and exciting. It is where the learning curve is typically the shallowest, and a modest amount of effort can reap tremendous gains. Although it is the most awkward state, it is also the state in which transgressions are most easily forgiven. The most interesting things tend to happen here, because there is no form; there are no habits; it is pure innocence colliding with the world and thus generating something new.
The intermediate level is where the novice has gained enough knowledge and skill to break things. It is the level at which the practitioner applies his tools to everything and finds his knowledge and skills staring back at him in everything. Ego is at its most dangerous in this state. In a school, the know-nothing novice would blindly follow the master's instruction and safely traverse the ebb and flow of a given art, it is the intermediate practitioner who is more likely to challenge the open sea or disregard or misinterpret given instruction. Perhaps it is here where the learning curve tends to be the steepest, and most practitioners drown. It is, however, a necessary step, because this level is where the practitioner's skill is judged by the real world (as opposed to the classroom). Those new ideas generated by the novice, while wonderful and cute, may not mean much outside the classroom.
Mastery comes many different ways, but often, the end result is a return to a state much like the novice. Where the intermediate practitioner typically has a large toolset at his disposal and sought a different nail for every hammer in his possession, the master and novice is more likely to reach for a single tool for a multitude of tasks. While the novice clings to a single tool based on familiarity, the master usually chooses the tool most suitable for her particular characteristics after finding the large intermediate toolset too cumbersome to wield. Its not that those tools are gone, rather, they are relegated to the rare occasion that her tool of mastery is not sufficient for the task. Of course, mastery is not a terminal path, rather it merely seeking to continually minimize the intermediate toolset and seek new and interesting ways to apply one's mastery.
I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight. Hopefully I can hold on to this thread and continue on coherently. Its crazy obvious what state I'm in, as the past is always rosy and beautiful, the present is a mixed bag of good and bad... and well the future is the future...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Abacus - Where it all started
There was a story our drama instructor once told us. Unfortunately I forget the actual story, but he had stumbled across something from his past. When he picked it up, he suddenly felt a wave of emotion overcome him. The sensation of that object brought back memories that had lain dormant for years.
I didn't really believe it at first. I'm pretty confident in my memory retention. The times that I pulling up memories, I'm usually able to pull up with quite a bit of detail... granted I'm not sure how much of it is filled in by imagination. It wasn't until my grandfather's funeral 7 years ago that I came across the sort of intense emotional surge that familiar objects can evoke. Most people who know me fairly well know that I lost my mother at a fairly young age, but time worked its magic over the years to lock away such grief.
In Chinese culture, the color white has special significance relating to the dead. As such, white headbands, and dressing completely in white are reserved for mourning close family members. Its this feature that I constantly have to be wary of in taiko, although I have broken this tradition in Japan, but I digress. It should be noted that this symbolism is taken seriously by many. During most of the funeral, I felt rather detached: meeting up with family members I hadn't seen or heard from in close to a decade, marveling at how many cousins I never knew about, looking upon the face of a man I hadn't seen in what could have been 13 years (unless I'm forgetting an event somewhere), and most of the while, feeling really existential about it all (the walk to the grave site felt like it was straight out of Camus...). But the moment we were to don our white bandannas was something extraordinary, because when they handed me that little strip of cloth, I cried like I was 5 again. And really, it was because it felt like I was 5 again.
Today's little brush with the past was less depressing. I found the abacus I had since I was a kid (maybe 7yo?) on my desk. It has floated around my belongings over the years, and for whatever reason it resurfaced. After opening it and playing around with it, I remembered the few Chinese school lessons I took in Arizona. For the uninitiated, Chinese school is more than just a school where they teach you Chinese; it was supplementary class time that covered vocabulary, math, and the arts as well... all while keeping snot-nosed brats out of their parents hair during the day.
This abacus was one of the tools we learned to use to do simple arithmetic. I don't ever remember using it much, except for the introduction that we got on it. Most importantly, it was very useful for shaking and making rhythms. It was my first brush with rhythm making! Then I remembered... I think that might have been the school that gave me 60 addition or multiplication problems to finish in a few days. My dad would scare the hell out of me by threatening to leave me at the office if I didn't finish my homework. So that's how it all started... the (mild) inclination for math that supports my role as an engineer, the (amateur) percussionist, and a severe case of separation anxiety.
Interestingly, this abacus is in base 10. I don't know what base the 2 layered abacus is in.. so I have no idea how those work.
I didn't really believe it at first. I'm pretty confident in my memory retention. The times that I pulling up memories, I'm usually able to pull up with quite a bit of detail... granted I'm not sure how much of it is filled in by imagination. It wasn't until my grandfather's funeral 7 years ago that I came across the sort of intense emotional surge that familiar objects can evoke. Most people who know me fairly well know that I lost my mother at a fairly young age, but time worked its magic over the years to lock away such grief.
In Chinese culture, the color white has special significance relating to the dead. As such, white headbands, and dressing completely in white are reserved for mourning close family members. Its this feature that I constantly have to be wary of in taiko, although I have broken this tradition in Japan, but I digress. It should be noted that this symbolism is taken seriously by many. During most of the funeral, I felt rather detached: meeting up with family members I hadn't seen or heard from in close to a decade, marveling at how many cousins I never knew about, looking upon the face of a man I hadn't seen in what could have been 13 years (unless I'm forgetting an event somewhere), and most of the while, feeling really existential about it all (the walk to the grave site felt like it was straight out of Camus...). But the moment we were to don our white bandannas was something extraordinary, because when they handed me that little strip of cloth, I cried like I was 5 again. And really, it was because it felt like I was 5 again.
Today's little brush with the past was less depressing. I found the abacus I had since I was a kid (maybe 7yo?) on my desk. It has floated around my belongings over the years, and for whatever reason it resurfaced. After opening it and playing around with it, I remembered the few Chinese school lessons I took in Arizona. For the uninitiated, Chinese school is more than just a school where they teach you Chinese; it was supplementary class time that covered vocabulary, math, and the arts as well... all while keeping snot-nosed brats out of their parents hair during the day.
This abacus was one of the tools we learned to use to do simple arithmetic. I don't ever remember using it much, except for the introduction that we got on it. Most importantly, it was very useful for shaking and making rhythms. It was my first brush with rhythm making! Then I remembered... I think that might have been the school that gave me 60 addition or multiplication problems to finish in a few days. My dad would scare the hell out of me by threatening to leave me at the office if I didn't finish my homework. So that's how it all started... the (mild) inclination for math that supports my role as an engineer, the (amateur) percussionist, and a severe case of separation anxiety.
Interestingly, this abacus is in base 10. I don't know what base the 2 layered abacus is in.. so I have no idea how those work.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Status update - October 2010
Here's the attempt at actually putting up some substantial ranting content on the web. Its been awhile so bear with me.
I got back from KASAMix late last month and time has pretty much flown by. Its hard to believe 5 weeks have passed. Maybe I'll actually get to the trip itself, but not in this post... this post is about what I've been up to since returning to the homeland.
I pretty much returned to the same slump in productivity that I was in when I left, which largely had to do with working outside my swim lane outside of my own volition. Jetlag didn't help much, so I don't even remember the first two weeks all that much. I basically watched a lot of TV and got frustrated over not getting the opportunity to share the wonderful tidbits of taiko information I accrued during KASAMix while I still felt very passionate about them. Unfortunately that window has passed.
It wasn't all bleak though. I made two new close friends while at KMix and they took up a good chunk of my leisure time. I managed to get into the class that I was aiming for, which A. was not a trivial task when you're not an official student and therefore not on the official mailing list and barred access to a lot of the official electronic resources... and B. is fun and interesting, but hard and frustrating (insert inappropriate joke here). I've also been working towards a photo package for the folks on Sado. I'm hoping I can establish a few lanes of communication. It'll be good excuse to write actual letters as opposed to the cheap thrill called email and even cheaper thrill facebook. It'll be an even better excuse to restart my Japanese studies.
Life is a mixed bag on the human relations front. KMix has really opened facebook up to the whole taiko community. Whatever facebook's secret sauce for 'suggested friends' is, it decided to point me at all the big players in the North American Taiko Community. By fate or chance, said community is now an official fb group as of 26 hours ago (as of 1818PDT). Pure awesomeness.
Unfortunately there are still no prospects on an actual relationship. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before, but I am in a bad situation when it comes to chasing tail. I've got three networks in close proximity right now: work, where I'm surrounded by married people; taiko, where I'm surrounded by mostly married people; and my parents. Of the first two, I'm the second youngest by a decent margin. Of the third, by a large margin. To a certain extent, this leaves me pretty vulnerable to certain types of man-eating felines. Fortunately, I'm not cat food. Other sources of fortune: being back in school is generally a good thing, although the graduate crowd differs quite a bit from the undergraduate crowd; then there's the Japan-letter thing (yes there will be a girl targeted, a guy as well but he's not part of this train of thought), which is unlikely to pan out in any direction, but if it does, it should be interesting (dialogue with both of them).
Lately, things have not been so good. I'm usually pretty amicable with people, if not that at least indifferent. Diplomacy and kindness are not my strong points, so often times tension can arise from disagreements. I have a tendency towards bluntness bordering on sharp, and certain types of personalities push me to acerbity, sometimes spitefully so(took me 15 minutes of swimming through the thesaurus to construct this sentence... ugh. BTW, acerbity is a cool word). Banter is one thing, but it can easily devolve into contempt and I like to stick with the former. First person I noticed this with, I ended up getting so frustrated I intentionally broke off contact, which lasted for years. Now we're great friends, but that might have been fate. Of late, I've been especially unforgiving of extremely tactless people, and they pop up from time to time. Spite is a double edged sword though. It makes me feel guilty, which makes me angry. I was able to get away with it in Japan where the spite was insignificant and the act was encouraged, but I have to work with the latest example... and it is hell. Sorry about trying to dance around the subject. I lashed out a few days ago, and I got so angry at myself I made a bet: a dollar for every time I was maliciously mean to this person. I already lost a dollar, but it was worth it -- done out of deep respect for those that came before me.
On to less significant things:
I've been getting into straight razor shaving. Its fun, and the smells are interesting. I haven't had to deal with stropping yet since I got a razor that takes disposable blades. In any event, the blades are a lot cheaper than the cartridge based monstrosities they sell to Jane and Joe these days.
I also found the taste that turned me onto plain yogurt over 4 years ago. I first tasted it in Paris, looking to sate my hunger at the uncle's condo. I hadn't been able to find it here in the US or Japan. Japan had other tasty yogurt though, and the search for cheap tasty yogurt eventually led me to grow my own cheap, but tart kefir. I wonder how goats milk will affect the taste... in any event, the name of the yogurt: St. Benoit.
Alright, that should be enough for now... especially since 10/19 is almost over. Hope this helps with the lack of reading Terry.
I got back from KASAMix late last month and time has pretty much flown by. Its hard to believe 5 weeks have passed. Maybe I'll actually get to the trip itself, but not in this post... this post is about what I've been up to since returning to the homeland.
I pretty much returned to the same slump in productivity that I was in when I left, which largely had to do with working outside my swim lane outside of my own volition. Jetlag didn't help much, so I don't even remember the first two weeks all that much. I basically watched a lot of TV and got frustrated over not getting the opportunity to share the wonderful tidbits of taiko information I accrued during KASAMix while I still felt very passionate about them. Unfortunately that window has passed.
It wasn't all bleak though. I made two new close friends while at KMix and they took up a good chunk of my leisure time. I managed to get into the class that I was aiming for, which A. was not a trivial task when you're not an official student and therefore not on the official mailing list and barred access to a lot of the official electronic resources... and B. is fun and interesting, but hard and frustrating (insert inappropriate joke here). I've also been working towards a photo package for the folks on Sado. I'm hoping I can establish a few lanes of communication. It'll be good excuse to write actual letters as opposed to the cheap thrill called email and even cheaper thrill facebook. It'll be an even better excuse to restart my Japanese studies.
Life is a mixed bag on the human relations front. KMix has really opened facebook up to the whole taiko community. Whatever facebook's secret sauce for 'suggested friends' is, it decided to point me at all the big players in the North American Taiko Community. By fate or chance, said community is now an official fb group as of 26 hours ago (as of 1818PDT). Pure awesomeness.
Unfortunately there are still no prospects on an actual relationship. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before, but I am in a bad situation when it comes to chasing tail. I've got three networks in close proximity right now: work, where I'm surrounded by married people; taiko, where I'm surrounded by mostly married people; and my parents. Of the first two, I'm the second youngest by a decent margin. Of the third, by a large margin. To a certain extent, this leaves me pretty vulnerable to certain types of man-eating felines. Fortunately, I'm not cat food. Other sources of fortune: being back in school is generally a good thing, although the graduate crowd differs quite a bit from the undergraduate crowd; then there's the Japan-letter thing (yes there will be a girl targeted, a guy as well but he's not part of this train of thought), which is unlikely to pan out in any direction, but if it does, it should be interesting (dialogue with both of them).
Lately, things have not been so good. I'm usually pretty amicable with people, if not that at least indifferent. Diplomacy and kindness are not my strong points, so often times tension can arise from disagreements. I have a tendency towards bluntness bordering on sharp, and certain types of personalities push me to acerbity, sometimes spitefully so(took me 15 minutes of swimming through the thesaurus to construct this sentence... ugh. BTW, acerbity is a cool word). Banter is one thing, but it can easily devolve into contempt and I like to stick with the former. First person I noticed this with, I ended up getting so frustrated I intentionally broke off contact, which lasted for years. Now we're great friends, but that might have been fate. Of late, I've been especially unforgiving of extremely tactless people, and they pop up from time to time. Spite is a double edged sword though. It makes me feel guilty, which makes me angry. I was able to get away with it in Japan where the spite was insignificant and the act was encouraged, but I have to work with the latest example... and it is hell. Sorry about trying to dance around the subject. I lashed out a few days ago, and I got so angry at myself I made a bet: a dollar for every time I was maliciously mean to this person. I already lost a dollar, but it was worth it -- done out of deep respect for those that came before me.
On to less significant things:
I've been getting into straight razor shaving. Its fun, and the smells are interesting. I haven't had to deal with stropping yet since I got a razor that takes disposable blades. In any event, the blades are a lot cheaper than the cartridge based monstrosities they sell to Jane and Joe these days.
I also found the taste that turned me onto plain yogurt over 4 years ago. I first tasted it in Paris, looking to sate my hunger at the uncle's condo. I hadn't been able to find it here in the US or Japan. Japan had other tasty yogurt though, and the search for cheap tasty yogurt eventually led me to grow my own cheap, but tart kefir. I wonder how goats milk will affect the taste... in any event, the name of the yogurt: St. Benoit.
Alright, that should be enough for now... especially since 10/19 is almost over. Hope this helps with the lack of reading Terry.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Bachi + Pads
Making taiko equipment again. Its the new school year. whee!
12 practice pads on the plate... and some number of assorted bachi. Shime bachi sold like hot cakes last year. I hope people liked them.
12 practice pads on the plate... and some number of assorted bachi. Shime bachi sold like hot cakes last year. I hope people liked them.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Last leg of the trip
Heading back to San Diego. Yes, it is 3AM... no I am not on schedule... I'm an hour early. T_T
Today is going to be a long day. I hope I get to play odaiko tonight.
Today is going to be a long day. I hope I get to play odaiko tonight.
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