Abacus - Where it all started

There was a story our drama instructor once told us. Unfortunately I forget the actual story, but he had stumbled across something from his past. When he picked it up, he suddenly felt a wave of emotion overcome him. The sensation of that object brought back memories that had lain dormant for years.

I didn't really believe it at first. I'm pretty confident in my memory retention. The times that I pulling up memories, I'm usually able to pull up with quite a bit of detail... granted I'm not sure how much of it is filled in by imagination. It wasn't until my grandfather's funeral 7 years ago that I came across the sort of intense emotional surge that familiar objects can evoke. Most people who know me fairly well know that I lost my mother at a fairly young age, but time worked its magic over the years to lock away such grief.

In Chinese culture, the color white has special significance relating to the dead. As such, white headbands, and dressing completely in white are reserved for mourning close family members. Its this feature that I constantly have to be wary of in taiko, although I have broken this tradition in Japan, but I digress. It should be noted that this symbolism is taken seriously by many. During most of the funeral, I felt rather detached: meeting up with family members I hadn't seen or heard from in close to a decade, marveling at how many cousins I never knew about, looking upon the face of a man I hadn't seen in what could have been 13 years (unless I'm forgetting an event somewhere), and most of the while, feeling really existential about it all (the walk to the grave site felt like it was straight out of Camus...). But the moment we were to don our white bandannas was something extraordinary, because when they handed me that little strip of cloth, I cried like I was 5 again. And really, it was because it felt like I was 5 again.

Today's little brush with the past was less depressing. I found the abacus I had since I was a kid (maybe 7yo?) on my desk. It has floated around my belongings over the years, and for whatever reason it resurfaced. After opening it and playing around with it, I remembered the few Chinese school lessons I took in Arizona. For the uninitiated, Chinese school is more than just a school where they teach you Chinese; it was supplementary class time that covered vocabulary, math, and the arts as well... all while keeping snot-nosed brats out of their parents hair during the day.

This abacus was one of the tools we learned to use to do simple arithmetic. I don't ever remember using it much, except for the introduction that we got on it. Most importantly, it was very useful for shaking and making rhythms. It was my first brush with rhythm making! Then I remembered... I think that might have been the school that gave me 60 addition or multiplication problems to finish in a few days. My dad would scare the hell out of me by threatening to leave me at the office if I didn't finish my homework. So that's how it all started... the (mild) inclination for math that supports my role as an engineer, the (amateur) percussionist, and a severe case of separation anxiety.

Interestingly, this abacus is in base 10. I don't know what base the 2 layered abacus is in.. so I have no idea how those work.

Status update - October 2010

Here's the attempt at actually putting up some substantial ranting content on the web. Its been awhile so bear with me.

I got back from KASAMix late last month and time has pretty much flown by. Its hard to believe 5 weeks have passed. Maybe I'll actually get to the trip itself, but not in this post... this post is about what I've been up to since returning to the homeland.

I pretty much returned to the same slump in productivity that I was in when I left, which largely had to do with working outside my swim lane outside of my own volition. Jetlag didn't help much, so I don't even remember the first two weeks all that much. I basically watched a lot of TV and got frustrated over not getting the opportunity to share the wonderful tidbits of taiko information I accrued during KASAMix while I still felt very passionate about them. Unfortunately that window has passed.

It wasn't all bleak though. I made two new close friends while at KMix and they took up a good chunk of my leisure time. I managed to get into the class that I was aiming for, which A. was not a trivial task when you're not an official student and therefore not on the official mailing list and barred access to a lot of the official electronic resources... and B. is fun and interesting, but hard and frustrating (insert inappropriate joke here). I've also been working towards a photo package for the folks on Sado. I'm hoping I can establish a few lanes of communication. It'll be good excuse to write actual letters as opposed to the cheap thrill called email and even cheaper thrill facebook. It'll be an even better excuse to restart my Japanese studies.

Life is a mixed bag on the human relations front. KMix has really opened facebook up to the whole taiko community. Whatever facebook's secret sauce for 'suggested friends' is, it decided to point me at all the big players in the North American Taiko Community. By fate or chance, said community is now an official fb group as of 26 hours ago (as of 1818PDT). Pure awesomeness.

Unfortunately there are still no prospects on an actual relationship. I'm not sure if I've mentioned before, but I am in a bad situation when it comes to chasing tail. I've got three networks in close proximity right now: work, where I'm surrounded by married people; taiko, where I'm surrounded by mostly married people; and my parents. Of the first two, I'm the second youngest by a decent margin. Of the third, by a large margin. To a certain extent, this leaves me pretty vulnerable to certain types of man-eating felines. Fortunately, I'm not cat food. Other sources of fortune: being back in school is generally a good thing, although the graduate crowd differs quite a bit from the undergraduate crowd; then there's the Japan-letter thing (yes there will be a girl targeted, a guy as well but he's not part of this train of thought), which is unlikely to pan out in any direction, but if it does, it should be interesting (dialogue with both of them).

Lately, things have not been so good. I'm usually pretty amicable with people, if not that at least indifferent. Diplomacy and kindness are not my strong points, so often times tension can arise from disagreements. I have a tendency towards bluntness bordering on sharp, and certain types of personalities push me to acerbity, sometimes spitefully so(took me 15 minutes of swimming through the thesaurus to construct this sentence... ugh. BTW, acerbity is a cool word). Banter is one thing, but it can easily devolve into contempt and I like to stick with the former. First person I noticed this with, I ended up getting so frustrated I intentionally broke off contact, which lasted for years. Now we're great friends, but that might have been fate. Of late, I've been especially unforgiving of extremely tactless people, and they pop up from time to time. Spite is a double edged sword though. It makes me feel guilty, which makes me angry. I was able to get away with it in Japan where the spite was insignificant and the act was encouraged, but I have to work with the latest example... and it is hell. Sorry about trying to dance around the subject. I lashed out a few days ago, and I got so angry at myself I made a bet: a dollar for every time I was maliciously mean to this person. I already lost a dollar, but it was worth it -- done out of deep respect for those that came before me.

On to less significant things:

I've been getting into straight razor shaving. Its fun, and the smells are interesting. I haven't had to deal with stropping yet since I got a razor that takes disposable blades. In any event, the blades are a lot cheaper than the cartridge based monstrosities they sell to Jane and Joe these days.

I also found the taste that turned me onto plain yogurt over 4 years ago. I first tasted it in Paris, looking to sate my hunger at the uncle's condo. I hadn't been able to find it here in the US or Japan. Japan had other tasty yogurt though, and the search for cheap tasty yogurt eventually led me to grow my own cheap, but tart kefir. I wonder how goats milk will affect the taste... in any event, the name of the yogurt: St. Benoit.

Alright, that should be enough for now... especially since 10/19 is almost over. Hope this helps with the lack of reading Terry.

Bachi + Pads

Making taiko equipment again. Its the new school year. whee!

12 practice pads on the plate... and some number of assorted bachi. Shime bachi sold like hot cakes last year. I hope people liked them.

Last leg of the trip

Heading back to San Diego. Yes, it is 3AM... no I am not on schedule... I'm an hour early. T_T

Today is going to be a long day. I hope I get to play odaiko tonight.

Tadaima

God... I have so much email... T_T

And life comes crashing back down.

Speaking of crashing back down... I'm SOOOO TIIIIIIRRRREEEEDDDDDD....

Oh... and the important stuff:

Thank you everyone in KASA Mix 2010, the folks at Kodo, the folks at the Matsuoka lab, and the Masons. You guys all truly made this trip a wonderful experience. I'll miss you all dearly. Until next time, let's keep in touch!

Leaving the Country... Again

Whee... Hopefully I'll be better about recording life. Perhaps its just better to live it instead of working so hard to embalm it in some medium.

PACKING!

YARG! To do all duffels or to haul around a big ass wheelie thing... pack just right or underpack? decisions decisions... sigh.

The hours certainly are slipping by...

Gay Rights in Cuba

Its sort of sad that a Communist regime can make headway against bigotry, yet we can't.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7314845.stm

Demons

They're back with a vengeance. Odd thing is... it makes me feel more human, as much as the feeling sucks. I spend so much of my time detached from my emotions, playing the robot, or plugged into something else (TV, books, Anime) that I feel like my humanity is slipping away.

Night Bus

Planning on traveling by nightbus again... I'm not a masochist at heart... but my wallet drives me to be one. I like getting good sleep. I really do.

One Piece

Is really amazing right now.

Ironing out

I think these next 10 years could possibly be very long for me on a whole lot of levels.

Watched this at work today...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&feature=related

This... is embarrassing.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-11027568

And retarded. Really America... wake up. You're being used.

Thought Provoking

http://www.recombinantrecords.net/docs/2009-05-Amusing-Ourselves-to-Death.html

A Vaccine for Stress?!

Pretty darn good article.

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/07/ff_stress_cure/all/1

Chocolate Milk and Dying

I dreamt about Broguierre's Chocolate Milk last night... very awesome. I also dreamt that I got shot to death... less awesome.

Adam

I really want a Notion Ink Adam.

http://notionink.wordpress.com/

Hopefully it'll be released by November... so I can blow my birthday money on this machine. I'm going to be angry if this doesn't deliver on its promised performance too... like how PlasticLogic's Que ProReader disappointed and inevitably caved to Kindle's market pressure.

I think Adam could be a formidable contender against both the iPad and the Kindle. That would be pretty darn uber.

Award

I got a small bonus today... My co-worker who also got the bonus seemed so happy, I just wanted to get back to work. Its funny how getting a monetary incentive can really turn a person's day. Maybe if I was grumpier and my day was going badly that would have lightened my mood, but DS3 is over and I am reasonably content. Unfortunately getting a small bonus doesn't lessen the responsibilities I shoulder.

I've been thinking about what to spend it on. It's either going to offset the cost of KASAMix, my upcoming trip to Japan for taiko, which has already been paid for. For something more immediate though, two things come to mind: Shrink that list of references I want to buy (TEXTBOOKS), and buy $20 dollars of earthworms. The rest can probably pay for the stupendously expensive classes I'll be starting on next month that might not get covered by work.

Seriously, Scott. I think you're right, I might just be an unfeeling robot.

Crazies

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=1608548865904525626

man... its shit like this that makes me afraid for this country. Not the message of the article, rather what's in the comments.

Ugh... the link didn't paste properly and unfortunately I lost the article that I read. I'll try and dig it up later as the e-trail isn't on this particular computer.

The gist was this: Mosque getting built near Ground Zero > some legitimate arguments both in favor and against > devolves into senseless flaming.

As far as I'm concerned, the issue really boils down to two things: Constitutional rights vs. increasing pain for survivors of 9/11. Everything else shouldn't matter. Unfortunately 'everything else' makes up a significant chunk of the arguments posed, and the sheer lunacy of it is frightening.

Practice... even in your sleep

Taiko came to me in my dreams last night as it sometimes but very rarely does. Interestingly enough, there were a bunch of SDT members there like victoria, chelsey, bobby, eric, kathy, and maybe tora, but there were a bunch of other folks I didn't recognize. In any event we practiced vocals and it wasn't kiyari ha ha. I've recorded part of the tune since its sort of hard to hold on to... and the lyrics were freaking in japanese so I don't remember it at all. Words like taiko, onna, and fuiteru float in and out of a jumbled mess of japanese that the strangers sang.

The two songs were largely call and response. Men sing freaking low... girls in the alto range... for the warm up song. The second song is sung at a tenor for men, and alto for girls. Drums are yodan odaiko style, so sideways, but short.

There was a second song that we warmed up with... but that one I don't remember at all, because everyone else was singing, but I was freaking out about my own affairs. I realized in my dream that I was probably having a fever because I was sweating a lot, and this girl who had come back from somewhere (one of the strangers) was like, 'what's this water on the floor'. Something happens where I get sweat and blood on her.. the blood was from stubbing my foot on something earlier maybe. Yeah.. the rest is gone at this point.