The Awkward Stage of Intermediate

Its been a long time since I last wrote. It hasn't been for lack of trying, rather life has gotten the upper hand this past winter, and I am only now regaining control. Unfortunately, I think I left a piece of me behind. I feel meaner, more critical, and to a large extent, a lot less happy, and a lot lonelier. In between all the fires, I've been left wondering, how did I get here? Why am I in this state? Is there anything to be gained by being like this...?

Perhaps its best to start with the cycle of mastery. Any art can more or less be broken down into the three levels: Novice, Intermediate, and Master. This model is not necessarily restricted to any particular art as it is largely the way human beings absorb and use knowledge. It can be grossly generalized in the following.

The beginner or novice is a state many of my readership should be familiar with. It truly is a wonderful state in that everything is new and exciting. It is where the learning curve is typically the shallowest, and a modest amount of effort can reap tremendous gains. Although it is the most awkward state, it is also the state in which transgressions are most easily forgiven. The most interesting things tend to happen here, because there is no form; there are no habits; it is pure innocence colliding with the world and thus generating something new.

The intermediate level is where the novice has gained enough knowledge and skill to break things. It is the level at which the practitioner applies his tools to everything and finds his knowledge and skills staring back at him in everything. Ego is at its most dangerous in this state. In a school, the know-nothing novice would blindly follow the master's instruction and safely traverse the ebb and flow of a given art, it is the intermediate practitioner who is more likely to challenge the open sea or disregard or misinterpret given instruction. Perhaps it is here where the learning curve tends to be the steepest, and most practitioners drown. It is, however, a necessary step, because this level is where the practitioner's skill is judged by the real world (as opposed to the classroom). Those new ideas generated by the novice, while wonderful and cute, may not mean much outside the classroom.

Mastery comes many different ways, but often, the end result is a return to a state much like the novice. Where the intermediate practitioner typically has a large toolset at his disposal and sought a different nail for every hammer in his possession, the master and novice is more likely to reach for a single tool for a multitude of tasks. While the novice clings to a single tool based on familiarity, the master usually chooses the tool most suitable for her particular characteristics after finding the large intermediate toolset too cumbersome to wield. Its not that those tools are gone, rather, they are relegated to the rare occasion that her tool of mastery is not sufficient for the task. Of course, mastery is not a terminal path, rather it merely seeking to continually minimize the intermediate toolset and seek new and interesting ways to apply one's mastery.

I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight. Hopefully I can hold on to this thread and continue on coherently. Its crazy obvious what state I'm in, as the past is always rosy and beautiful, the present is a mixed bag of good and bad... and well the future is the future...